Distinguishing the Bullshitter

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Mademoiselle Baphomet and her cats

How to recognize a bullshitter? It’s not a mystery that the bullshitters have some qualities of character that differentiate them from the non-bullshitters. Their behavior and the techniques of social engineering they use also make them different. And although to the uninitiated, the bullshitter may appear to be a genius, in fact all bullshitters are the same, indulging in similar shenanigans inspired by the cheap and popular “Manipulation for the Dummies” psychology handbooks.

So here are the typical unique machinations of a bullshitter. Since gender equality is trendy sinister, both pronouns, he and she, will be used to ensure the fair treatment of both sexes. After all, the bullshitters come in both male and female forms.

Ad nauseam

If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth, Goebbels said. The bullshitter will repeat her bullshit over and over again, ignoring and dismissing all the arguments to the contrary. She will repeat the bullshit like a mantra or a political slogan:

Women are the victims of the patriarchy.

Women are the victims of the patriarchy.

Women are the victims of the patriarchy.

Women are the victims of the patriarchy.

Women are the victims of the patriarchy.

Women are the victims of the patriarchy…

Till everyone goes zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Cherry-picking

The bullshitter will choose the facts and arguments that support her bogus theory while ignoring all those that contradict it. She will overgeneralize and twist facts to make her bogus point. All males are bullies. Satanism is just Might is Right. Your paradigm is all about Machiavelli etc.

Argument from intimidation

Fear is one of the basic and primal motivations behind human behavior so the bullshitter will try to scare everyone into accepting his bullshit by saying that everyone who disagrees with him is stupid and that every wise person will accept his claims. He will keep chest beating and blowing his own trumpet and at the same time trying to shame, discourage and put down his opponents. When in a relationship, the bullshitter will use emotional blackmail, threatening to leave if the victim doesn’t give in and have sex with him.

Appeal to vanity

This fairy tale sums it up:

A Fox once saw a Crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree.

     “That’s for me, as I am a Fox,” said Master Reynard, and he walked up to the foot of the tree.

“Good day, Mistress Crow,” he cried. “How well you are looking today: how glossy your feathers; how bright your eye. I feel sure your voice must surpass that of other birds, just as your figure does; let me hear but one song from you that I may greet you as the Queen of Birds.”

The Crow lifted up her head and began to caw her best, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by Master Fox.

“That will do,” said he. “That was all I wanted. In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future: “Do not trust flatterers.”

The Devil is a gentleman

The bullshitter will pretend to be your friend. She will be very civil, kind and will appear reasonable. She will try to convince you to accept her bullshit, all the time trying to stay calm and well-mannered. But once the bullshitter’s bullshit is exposed, the following reactions can be observed:

Self-righteous indignation

How dare you accuse me of dishonesty?!!! The bullshitter will become downright hostile, if not furious. She will get either passive-aggressive or resort to shouting and direct insults.

Gas-lighting

The bullshitter will tell you that you are paranoid since you are not able to trust him.

If the bullshit is hard to be denied, the bullshitter will resort to:

You don’t know me

The bullshitter will try to downplay his machinations by diverting your attention from them, by focusing on more favorable traits of his character, on his past deeds. He will try to make you feel guilty for misunderstanding him and not appreciating the depths of his soul.

Why did you sleep with this woman? How could you?

But darling, do you remember our honeymoon? What about our love? The gifts I gave you? And flowers and hugs and kisses?

But you fucked another wo…

But honey, the bullshitter will interrupt you, it’s just nothing. It’s not important. She’s nothing to me. It was just sex, nothing more. It’s our love that matters. Why worry about such trivial things?

You’re a liar! You’ve always been a liar!

So is that all you see in me? I’m just a liar to you? How disappointing. You’re blind. If you could only see my heart and all the love I have for you, then you wouldn’t judge me by one affair. Perhaps, finally I will find a woman who will appreciate and love me for who I truly am.

And the bullshitter will start crying. Then, he will go away and find another stupid chick to play Don Juan with.

Further studies:

 

 

.:. Shit .:.

 

You know who you are. A puppet on the strings. How can you cut them off if you don’t see them? Day by day, you’re given shit to eat till your brain becomes full of shit; other people’s shit that you absorb uncritically and then parrot it, the shit of your mentors, gurus and priests that you worship, the politicians you vote for, the experts you revere, the writers and poets you’re a fan of. You bask in other people’s glory because you have no thoughts or ideas of your own.

You think you’re a special snowflake, that you’re better than others but you’re one of the many guinea pigs here. The rhetoric about the elite is to lull you to sleep, you gullible idiot. Meanwhile, the people behind the glass observe how much shit you consume and what it does to your mind. Other people mold you in their own image because you’re too stupid to stay yourself or reinvent yourself. And you have a nerve to call that enlightenment.

There will be no enlightenment. Shit – that’s all you will get. It has always been like that and will remain like that forever. What sits there in your mind, whatever you think, say and do is other people’s work, not yours. A brush and a canvas are not a painter but that doesn’t mean they are not useful. Perhaps, one day you will wake up and notice the prison of mirages all around you. When they are gone, there will be Nothing left.

Sexy Milgram

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Today’s news gave me a laugh. A nearly seventy-year-old sexual maniac decided to prey on young female students at the university in Poznań. He put on smart clothes, took a suitcase and introduced himself as a professor of anthropology doing a scientific research. He led naive girls one by one to a secluded place, gave them a survey to complete and then asked them to gradually undress themselves so that he could measure their muscle temperature. Each of the confused girls eagerly took off her clothes and let the bogus professor meticulously examine her naked body. The professor then wrote down the “results” in his papers and kindly thanked the girls for their contribution to the development of science.

It turned out that the guy “worked” at several universities and colleges in and near Poznań. When the girls decided to speak up, the police arrested the predator on the grounds of sexual abuse. Then, some psychologists commented on the whole affair; that we have a natural tendency to conform, that we usually trust and obey the authority, that the guy was very persuasive, that his professor disguise was like a magic spell, that the confused victim is easy to manipulate blah blah blah…

Or perhaps, the girls fancied some anal fisting and simply needed a good excuse.

Like a Puppet

Good morning said the dog walking a kid on a leash. Good morning I answered politely but couldn’t help chuckling. Yeah, it was the dog walking the kid, not the other way round. That damn dog was bigger than her, an eleven-year-old daughter of my neighbors who have just moved in. Totally irresponsible people. They should have bought a smaller dog. This one was too big. It was pulling the child behind itself. But why should I care? Not my business.

I returned to reading the newspaper. It was a beautiful sunny morning, just perfect for sitting on a bench in the park. It was just a bit too noisy for my taste though. Plenty of children running around and playing, neurotic parents calling and shouting at their kids. Total craziness.

Rex! Rex! Come back here! Rex! Rex! Come back! Come back! I looked around. The dog was running around the park with the leash hanging loose and the child was chasing it. Rex! Rex! Rex! Come back! Rex!

Those people are really funny, those who think they can walk the Beast on a leash. Sooner or later, the blessed day comes when the Beast gets out of hand. This is when it becomes beautiful. Chaos unbound, pure evil uncontrolled by anyone. It’s so amusing to see confusion and helplessness on their faces, or even anger, when it dawns on them they are no longer in control, when they see everything fall apart. They wish then they wouldn’t have started playing with fire. They wish they could turn the clock back but it’s too late…

Rex! Come back, Rex! Mommy! Mommy! Rex ran away! Mommy! And the child started crying. Like a puppet on the strings, I thought. It’s too late, my darling, too late…

Don’t worry she said and unzipped his trousers. James doesn’t know anything. Too stupid. He thinks I’m staying late at work. The loser can’t even find a job. I’m wasting my life with him. She was sitting on him and delicately caressing his breast with her tongue. You know how to satisfy your tigress. And she laughed and kept laughing louder and louder and louder…

I put my fingers in my ears but her laughter reverberated all round the room. I let the photos fall on the floor, the photos made by the private detective. She had been cheating on me for two years, fucking her colleague in a cheap motel. The nasty visions were passing rapidly through my mind. I must put myself together. Soon it will be over. I prepared myself for this for quite a long time. Everything will be all right. The doorbell rang.

Oh the dinner is ready! Oh James, how romantic! I took her coat and lighted the candles.

I watched her breathing while she was laying beside me. So peaceful and serene. I had put enough of sedatives in her drink. She looked self-confident as usual, even now, when she was sleeping, blissfully unaware of what was going to happen. I pressed the pillow against her face. I waited and watched how her life was slowly leaving her body…

She was always on top of me when we were making love. Always dominating at work, at home and in bed. Now there she was, submissive and obedient, bending unconditionally to my will.

Like a puppet on the strings, I whispered after I got off on her inert body.

It’s too late, honey. It’s too late.