Just a Voice in My Head

677ee3c47774f575dcaf89ac0cd237a4

Dear reader, this incoherent string of thoughts below is or could be my confession. I’m writing it down because I’m bored with the game I’ve been playing for too long a time. I’ve managed to fool everyone, including myself.

I’ve been living in this matrix I built for myself for the whole of my life. Or is this other people’s fault? I don’t have time to figure it out now. Enough of going round in circles. I just want to leave and let the door hit my ass on my way out.

They say I’m a misogynist. I’m not. I don’t hate women. I just don’t care. No no. It’s as if I didn’t care. Why do I feel a pang of pain if I see her in his arms? This one or that one. All the time the story repeats itself. What is wrong with me? Is my ego at fault? Why don’t they see me for what I am?

I say I don’t need them but I need them. I want to live alone, yet my middle finger shown to the world is a desperate cry for attention. My defiance is a sigh of a wounded heart. I struggle a lot to show how much I don’t care and hide my desire to impress.

Why do the bitches hate me? If I only knew why. I’m a little bit confused. What if my enemies exist only in my head?

So now I’m telling you all goodbye. Saying goodbye to the world of lies and stories. Leaving it behind and what did I expect to discover except for how deluded and stupid I’ve always been?

Everyone is a liar.

It seems my only fault is that I can only be good.

Advertisements

On Thy Honor

One winter a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom. The Snake was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. “Oh,” cried the Farmer with his last breath, “I am rightly served for pitying a scoundrel.”

*   *   *

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream.  The scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion says, “because if I sting you while you cross the stream, surely I shall drown .”

The frog is satisfied, and they set out. But in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, but has just enough time to gasp “Why? Now you shall surely drown!”

The scorpion replies: “Because it is my nature.”

*   *   *

Both the farmer and the frog are guilty of the Satanic sin Solipsism. They project their own feelings and reactions onto others. They think that others have the same nature as them. The farmer nurtures the snake on his bosom expecting that the predator will return the favor. But the snake doesn’t forget its nature. The farmer should have known better when he decided to help the snake. The frog expects gratitude from the scorpion but again it’s in the nature of the scorpion to sting.

Honor is overrated. If you swear on your honor, you could as well swear on the Holy Bible, the Constitution or whatever. Behind all the naive and childish talk about honor there is simple moralizing and the delusional belief in the universal morality. You either have honor or you don’t. Translate: You are either good or bad. It all stems from the assumption that all people, no matter their religion, culture, upbringing or personality, uphold the same values and principles; OUR values and principles. Quite narcissistic.

And why should they? If honor is personal, then it’s a subjective thing. Why should another person understand honor in the same way as me? So some Nazi cuckoo in Britain murdered a female MP and some people (especially those who pretend to be evil on the internet) jumped on their high moral horses and started calling the guy a dishonorable coward. Which is funny because the guy did the very thing his honor told him to do: He rid his beloved country of an imaginary enemy. This is how he understood honor and he remained loyal to his crazy code of honor and it doesn’t matter that his code of honor is so displeasing to others.

Let’s say another guy seems to be a pedophile. It’s really tempting to say “He’s dishonorable.” Translate: “He’s a bad person.” Yes, there are many bad people around (that means we think they are bad) so you’d better protect yourself and your loved ones from them. Solipsism again comes into play. What does it mean that someone is dishonorable? Well, that means he doesn’t behave the way I think he should behave because I cherish the delusional belief that my morals are universal. This is why solipsism comes together with wishful thinking.

If honor is a cultural thing, then there are many different cultures and religions. It’s an honorable thing for an ISIS warrior to kill the infidels, including women and children. It’s an honorable thing for the Westerners to take revenge even if that means killing innocent civilians. Every culture has its morality system, everyone has his own purely subjective code of honor influenced to an extent by his culture. Calling it unfair is naive, idealistic.

What does the fair game even mean? It’s a fair game for the cat to eat a mouse but not so fair for the mouse. No wise mouse will trust a cat. If the mice run away before the cat, it’s because their instinct is healthy. They realize the true nature of the Other unlike the farmer and the frog. They know who is a friend and who is an enemy. They don’t expect respect or consideration from the enemy. And yet we invite the Muslims here hoping they will respect our much cherished values and our way of life. Homo Sapiens is the most delusional species on Earth.