On the Virtue of Lying

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There is this popular Polish criminal comedy titled Vabank. And there is a scene where one naive guy comes to a bank administered by a group of swindlers. They advise him to open up a bank account under a fake name in order to avoid paying taxes. The man, greedy and gullible as he is, gets lured into a trap. Later on he can’t get his money back. The whole movie is about deception, con-artists fighting each other and using dirty tricks often as a revenge.

Some deceivers are natural born predators and their lies are ominous. Just recently, something that looked like a genuine bank has turned out to be a financial pyramid. Thousands of people have lost money, often all their life savings. The pair of swindlers preyed not only on people’s gullibility but also their greed, promising them high profits from investing their money into gold. It turned out that the profits people saw on paper were non-existent; fata morgana. The swindlers were finally exposed and caught but they managed to transfer some of the money abroad, to some exotic countries, and squander the rest. The victims received only a small portion of “invested” money back. The rest was irrevocably lost.

Now this is what could be called sinister shenanigans. Something truly diabolical. Something different from posting some stupid shit on WordPress blog and calling it a test or inviting some jackasses to coffee and doughnuts party and not turning up.

Is deception a Satanic virtue as some “sinister” types say? I guess it’s so human. Everyone is a liar. We all lie, sometimes even unconsciously, to others and to ourselves. Sometimes lying is accompanied by good intentions. Your friend asks you: “How do I look like in my new dress?” You know she looks terrible but you don’t want to hurt her so you lie and tell her she looks great. If some “sinister” propagandist keeps bashing Anton LaVey saying he was against lying, then what bullshit is that? That person ignores everything that was written by LaVey about the Lesser Magic, which is nothing else than manipulation. What does it mean “responsibility to the responsible?” Does it mean that willful deception should be rejected because it’s immoral?

Every idiot can lie but when does deception become an art? Like an illusionist enchanting the unaware audience with its “magic” tricks, lying is an art until it becomes exposed. Deception is a diabolical art as long as nobody knows or suspects they are being deceived. If the audience sees through the illusionist’s tricks, then he’s a poor magician indeed. That means that if you are going to lie, then do that properly. So that nobody knows that or even suspects that you are lying.

But what happens if you are caught lying? When does responsibility come into the picture? If you are caught lying once, twice or three times, then you lose credibility. That means that everything you say and do becomes red-flagged. Once the reputation of a deceiver sticks to you and people become aware of your lies, then they will no longer believe you even if you tell the truth for a change. Like playing cards, you can cheat as long as others at the table don’t know you are cheating. Because if they know, then the game is over.

Once I went to one of the local shops which I regularly frequent and was so lost in my thoughts, or tired perhaps, that I forgot to take the change. Then the shop-keeper shouted after me: Hey Miss you forgot your money! Damn, I was grateful to her. But why did she do that? She cold have kept the money. Is this because she liked me? Because she was kind and honest by nature? Perhaps. But perhaps, she simply wanted me to keep coming to her shop. She wanted people to think she is honest, that she is kind. She was building customer trust and loyalty so that people will chose her shop and not competition.

There is a proverb: A lie has short legs. It can be no problem for a skillful swindler to build some financial pyramid, dupe as many people as possible in relatively short time and then take the money and flee abroad and hide far away before the people realize they have been duped and the cops catch him. But if your aim is to set up a business or whatever venture that is going to last for decades, then credibility is something very important.

That eventually brings us to those “mischievous” and super-evil, and super duper “misleading” and “deceitful” and “sly” ONA WordPressers who post crap after crap on their blogs and call it “the Satanic Art of Deception.” But for fuck’s sake, how can that be an art if even an average idiot knows it’s deception? Who the hell are they fooling if everyone already knows they are being fooled? What is the worth of the bullshit if everyone knows it’s fucking bullshit? Are they masters of Satanic deception? No, fuck, no. They are simply bullshitters who failed their own sinister bullshit test.

The next thing those amateur manipulators say is: “I don’t give a damn about having the respect of strangers.” That’s too bad because respect is often accompanied with awe. People will more easily bend to your Will if they respect you. Unless you can put a gun to their heads, then it’s always better to have their respect than not even be taken seriously by them. If one has an aim to influence people in one way or another, then it’s hard, if not impossible, to do it once you have a reputation of a bullshitter and all your ideas get red-flagged. They will be simply rejected, simple as that.

Bye Bye Beautiful

It’s not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I`ll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words

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Broken dolls, broken toys, even Satanism attracts them. Actually, the darker and deeper the pit, the more of them buried in it. Some people think that the mere switching of labels and ideologies will cure them of their emotional issues. When they realize that Jesus hates them, they start searching for love in Wicca or in some New Age bullshit. If they don’t find love in Wicca, they turn to Thelema. If they don’t find love in Thelema, they turn to Atheism or LaVeyan Satanism. If LaVeyan Satanism doesn’t fulfill their need for love, they turn to theistic Satanism or the ONA thing. If they find that the theistic Satanism or the ONA thing don’t love them, they fly to some other mystical or pseudo-mystical mambo jambo. The usual reason is: People are bad, they don’t like me here. Perhaps, they will like me if I “reinvent” myself. Sometimes, those broken dolls return to Christianity as new-born Christians, ready to preach the gospel of love to everyone, if only to drown out their own inner demons.

Meanwhile, the tumor of self-hatred grows and grows, feeding regularly on ever-present guilt and shame. External circumstances and other people merely activate what is already festering inside.

There are consequences for even minor kind of non-compliance. Conformity is often rewarded but defiance is punished. Always. Whether you go against social norms, someone’s expectations or your own habits or principles. There are no exceptions to this and there will never be, even if you think it should be otherwise. As one smart guy once wrote “Life sucks, and yes, people do suck. Fuck forbid you also suck... The devil is not an advocate of pleasure, at least, not without tribulation. One must earn their horns and hooves. Endure some of what Hell has to offer, and baby if you do it right, you’ll come back on fire, and smokin’ hot.” The social rejects sometimes join the Satanic or other avant-garde groups, temples or orders expecting to be rewarded for their naughtiness and freakishness, to get some cookies for their Satanic rebellion. Perhaps, the Devil was lying when he lured you to the dark side promising cookies.

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It’s really amusing when some ONA kiddies, when they feel unloved and unappreciated, get all neurotic and have an emotional meltdown. For the purpose of this blog, let’s assume their all too embarrassing meltdown is for real. Then they start complaining about Uncle Myatt being an asshole, so full of himself and surrounding himself with ass-kissers. Now, what if they are right? Suppose Uncle Myatt, despite all of his poems and mystical writings, is really an asshole, has always been an asshole and has never stopped being an asshole. Why should the guy who is said to have founded the Satanic order be like Virgin Mary? Especially if we take into account that many Holy Fathers of the Catholic Church were most perverted libertines, it is quite strange that some expect Satanism to attract guys with the heart of a dove. Satan was an asshole himself, a pathetic fuck, who refused to serve in heaven because he was… so full of himself. So he was cast into the fiery pit where he was served and adored by his minions, still being proud and arrogant.

I can’t really blame the chap if he likes others adoring him. I would go even further and claim that he founded the Order of Nine Angles for the sole purpose of having his sinisterly-numinous Ass worshiped. If someone does his job of ass-kissing well, no wonder he is rewarded. Now let’s push even further and assume that all the orders, Satanic or otherwise, exist only for the worship of their founders’ asses. Let’s now entertain even braver conspiracy theory that Anton LaVey was in fact a Christian and invented Satanism to con gullible people who thought of themselves as special snowflakes but, in fact, were searching for the peer approval. Would any reasonable person trust a bald guy, with the goat’s beard, who was moreover stinking like a foul goat?

Ass-kissing is a true Satanic ritual of initiation, kinda like the one the witches at Sabbath were practicing when they were kissing the Devil/Goat’s ass in a truly religious frenzy and sexual ecstasy. The Devil is no gentleman, he’s no aristocrat, don’t be fooled. He has no manners, he’s a foul stinking and evil creature having no consideration for anyone. Even old guys indulging in “mystical peregrinations” and Greek translations can be perverted sociopaths. To err is human.

Does that a lil bit exaggerated picture strike a nerve with you, dear reader? It’s because you deny darkness in yourself and in other people. You focus only on the light, ignoring the shadows. Thus you miss the Whole that is a human being. You idealize people because you need to have some perfect and pure idol, a sacred cow that you can put on a pedestal and worship. You are a natural follower who gets furious when your idol doesn’t live up to your sentimental expectations. You are disappointed and denigrate the mythos because you were deluding yourself that the real people were as beautiful and fucking romantic as their mythos. The mythos exists for its ow sake. It’s real as long as it continues to inspire. And real people… well, they probably suck. As you suck. As I suck. As we all suck. Enlightenment is nothing else than shattering your illusions.

 

On Thy Honor

One winter a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom. The Snake was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal wound. “Oh,” cried the Farmer with his last breath, “I am rightly served for pitying a scoundrel.”

*   *   *

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream.  The scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion says, “because if I sting you while you cross the stream, surely I shall drown .”

The frog is satisfied, and they set out. But in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, but has just enough time to gasp “Why? Now you shall surely drown!”

The scorpion replies: “Because it is my nature.”

*   *   *

Both the farmer and the frog are guilty of the Satanic sin Solipsism. They project their own feelings and reactions onto others. They think that others have the same nature as them. The farmer nurtures the snake on his bosom expecting that the predator will return the favor. But the snake doesn’t forget its nature. The farmer should have known better when he decided to help the snake. The frog expects gratitude from the scorpion but again it’s in the nature of the scorpion to sting.

Honor is overrated. If you swear on your honor, you could as well swear on the Holy Bible, the Constitution or whatever. Behind all the naive and childish talk about honor there is simple moralizing and the delusional belief in the universal morality. You either have honor or you don’t. Translate: You are either good or bad. It all stems from the assumption that all people, no matter their religion, culture, upbringing or personality, uphold the same values and principles; OUR values and principles. Quite narcissistic.

And why should they? If honor is personal, then it’s a subjective thing. Why should another person understand honor in the same way as me? So some Nazi cuckoo in Britain murdered a female MP and some people (especially those who pretend to be evil on the internet) jumped on their high moral horses and started calling the guy a dishonorable coward. Which is funny because the guy did the very thing his honor told him to do: He rid his beloved country of an imaginary enemy. This is how he understood honor and he remained loyal to his crazy code of honor and it doesn’t matter that his code of honor is so displeasing to others.

Let’s say another guy seems to be a pedophile. It’s really tempting to say “He’s dishonorable.” Translate: “He’s a bad person.” Yes, there are many bad people around (that means we think they are bad) so you’d better protect yourself and your loved ones from them. Solipsism again comes into play. What does it mean that someone is dishonorable? Well, that means he doesn’t behave the way I think he should behave because I cherish the delusional belief that my morals are universal. This is why solipsism comes together with wishful thinking.

If honor is a cultural thing, then there are many different cultures and religions. It’s an honorable thing for an ISIS warrior to kill the infidels, including women and children. It’s an honorable thing for the Westerners to take revenge even if that means killing innocent civilians. Every culture has its morality system, everyone has his own purely subjective code of honor influenced to an extent by his culture. Calling it unfair is naive, idealistic.

What does the fair game even mean? It’s a fair game for the cat to eat a mouse but not so fair for the mouse. No wise mouse will trust a cat. If the mice run away before the cat, it’s because their instinct is healthy. They realize the true nature of the Other unlike the farmer and the frog. They know who is a friend and who is an enemy. They don’t expect respect or consideration from the enemy. And yet we invite the Muslims here hoping they will respect our much cherished values and our way of life. Homo Sapiens is the most delusional species on Earth.

 

And The Word Became The Law

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Farrad, born Marvin Buckles, was sentenced on Thursday to 188 months in a Tennessee federal prison following his 2015 conviction of being a felon in possession of a gun. The longtime criminal was last convicted of federal gun and drug charges back in 2000 after police found firearms and crack cocaine in his possession. Farrad was released from prison after serving out his sentence… His most recent misstep is likely his saddest, however, as authorities never would have known Farrad was breaking the law had he not posted evidence on Facebook.

In 2013, the ex-con posted a selfie on Facebook… that showed him holding a .45-caliber pistol and aiming the reflection of its laser sight at his own forehead. Of course, it’s illegal for a convicted felon to carry a firearm, and Farrad posted concrete evidence of his crime on Facebook for all the world to see. Unfortunately for him, the FBI was investigating him for suspected “illicit conduct” at the time, and digging through his social media accounts was part of the investigation.

How a single Facebook post landed a man in jail for 15 years

Now, the guy deserves an applause from all the self-proclaimed ONA bosses because he’s not only super duper sinister but his super duper sinister deeds have been well documented by the “mainstream source”, that is Facebook.

What is the relationship between Satanism and the law? What should our attitude to the law look like? Is there any place here for “should?” If you commit a crime just to prove to yourself or others how badass you are, then what does that say about you?

Some laws are harmful or plainly retarded, others may well serve your interests. The wisdom is in telling the difference. Non-compliance can be useful and in certain situations it’s even heroic. The general rule is not to fuck things up. There is a tendency to call every fuck-up an insight role. Sure, if you screw something up, then there is no other way than to write it off to experience but is stupidity something to be proud of? Does transgressing the laws of your country serve your interests or the interests of those dear to you? Or are you doing it to gain someone’s acceptance, to feel better about yourself or because you’re just stupid and irresponsible?

Know thy limits. Sweetie experiment comes to mind. As equivocal as it was, what about the gullible idiots and losers who were so easily trapped? If you jerk off to the controversial pictures, you’d better turn off your camera or find yourself another hobby. Then, there come the delusion that the cops shouldn’t use questionable methods and the expectation that they should have higher morale than the Chinese thought police or plain criminals. It’s a sour grape of democracy; I have a right to… (insert here privacy, freedom etc.)

Freedom is an abstraction and privacy is a myth. If you reason like a small child “I’m behind a chair, mom can’t see me now”, then bear in mind that nature doesn’t know a nut that cannot be cracked… so be careful.

 

The Hall of Mirrors

And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

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One thing I admire about cats is that they can make themselves comfortable in any adverse circumstances. Even if they are homeless, they are still able to find themselves the warmest and most comfortable place to lay to sleep. Animals never complain and never worry about the future. They live here and now, always faithful to their own nature. Jung once wrote that an animal fulfills God’s will perfectly.

We are like demi-gods; half-humans, half-beasts. Our animalistic instincts are our inner demons born of millions years of our evolution. No matter how much we are trying to ignore them, fight them or hide them, they always resurface. Most religions teach people to fight their inner demons but a repressed and abused beast often breaks loose and sabotages our actions. This is why people try to be “good” but end up doing “bad” things, the things they didn’t plan to do. The way to hell is paved with good intentions.

One thing I value in Satanism is that it tries to restore the lost balance between the human and the beast, between culture and nature. It’s about exercising the beast just like Anton LaVey exercised tigers in a circus. He ate with them and slept with them in their cages. He showed respect to them so that they became his friends and they were then willing to bend to his will. It’s better to make peace with that archetypal Satan, your inner adversary, your friend and an enemy, otherwise he will always drag you down whenever you attempt to soar.

Satanism is holding a mirror to yourself and other people, recognizing the fact that all our acts are selfish and no matter how smart or holy we portray ourselves to be, there is a beast in us all. Sometimes, we act like pigs wallowing in mud though we consider ourselves elitist and having manners. It’s funny when a liar talks about self-honesty and a bully talks about humility.

The apostles were brought in and made to appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. “We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,” he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.” Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings!

Humility is one of the crucial Christian virtues. When God brings suffering upon Job, he doesn’t only do that to test his faith but also to give him the lesson in humility. By asking him questions like Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?Have you commanded the morning since your days beganHave you entered into the springs of the sea, or walked in the recesses of the deep? he shows him his proper place in the Universe. Can humility have some place in Satanism? There are things that are not dependent on us and that we have no influence on. However, we can always choose how to behave in the case of adversity.

Even in Christianity, humility doesn’t mean being a doormat or bowing down to any authority, especially human one. The apostles chose to disobey the high priest but follow the command of God. If the kingdom of God is within you, if God speaks in your heart, then it’s always better to follow your intuition, your Inner Voice. If justice and mercy are qualities of God, then it’s God’s will to speak out against injustice and lack of mercy. It’s also God’s will or Nature’s will that we are just and merciful to our inner demons, to the animal within.

Sing me your Story

… One day the Emperor received a large package labeled “The Nightingale.”

“This must be another book about my celebrated bird,” he said. But it was not a book. In the box was a work of art, an artificial nightingale most like the real one except that it was encrusted with diamonds, rubies and sapphires. When it was wound, the artificial bird could sing one of the nightingale’s songs while it wagged its glittering gold and silver tail. Round its neck hung a ribbon inscribed: “The Emperor of Japan’s nightingale is a poor thing compared with that of the Emperor of China.”…

“Now let’s have them sing together. What a duet that will be,” said the courtiers.

So they had to sing together, but it didn’t turn out so well, for the real nightingale sang whatever came into his head while the imitation bird sang by rote.

“That’s not the newcomer’s fault,” said the music master. “He keeps perfect time, just as I have taught him.”

Then they had the imitation bird sing by itself. It met with the same success as the real nightingale, and besides it was much prettier to see, all sparkling like bracelets and breastpins. Three and thirty times it sang the selfsame song without tiring. The courtiers would gladly have heard it again, but the Emperor said the real nightingale should now have his turn. Where was he? No one had noticed him flying out the open window, back to his home in the green forest.

“But what made him do that?” said the Emperor.

All the courtiers slandered the nightingale, whom they called a most ungrateful wretch…

“You see, ladies and gentlemen, and above all Your Imperial Majesty, with a real nightingale one never knows what to expect, but with this artificial bird everything goes according to plan.
The real nightingale had been banished from the land…
(from “The Nightingale”)

Can a bird sing only the song it knows? Or can it learn a new song? Many people sing the same old shit over and over again, usually the same old shit they were programmed with. Sometimes, they call it education. Education, as they mean it, is stuffing your mind with other people’s ideas. So they leave their schools and mindlessly repeat the stuff they were taught.

Such minds rarely change even if they change the label. So you have former Christians replacing their God with a new god, be it science, experts or whatever. The same old song, the same old shit, the same old habits and the same mind bowing to the authority in the utmost display of conformity.

If you’re not the author of the music and lyrics, then whose song are you singing? Sure as hell, it’s not yours. Many would wish you to conform to their so-called standards, to sing what they want you to sing. A mechanical bird is more predictable and easier to control. It doesn’t have moods. Would you sacrifice your freedom of thought for someone’s approval?

The Chicken Yard

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There is this saying “Sticking feathers up your butt doesn’t make you a chicken.” I would choose a less mediocre bird here, like a peacock or an eagle. A chicken can pretend to be an eagle or a peacock but the mask falls off when you ask the motherfucker to fly. It’s a sad spectacle to watch.

Is a label important? What does changing a label mean without a change in your life, without getting rid of the stuff you were programmed with? There is a price to pay for living your life the way you want and for trying to think for yourself. That price is most often the disapproval of others and rejection. Sometimes, it can mean losing your friends, your job, even family and in some shitty circumstances even your life. However, if you swim with with the current, you’ll never be a good swimmer.

Counting the Grains

“Rabbit’s clever,” said Pooh thoughtfully.
“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit’s clever.” “And he has Brain.”
“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit has Brain.” There was a long silence.
“I suppose,” said Pooh, “that that’s why he never understands anything.”

Vision
Joana, the heroine of the movie “Agnosia”, suffers from a peculiar illness. She’s blind but not because she sees nothing but because she sees too much. Her mind has no filter and her little brain is constantly flooded with the stimuli it cannot process. As a result, she’s in the state of permanent confusion, not able to recognize people and objects around her. One would think that if you see more, you’re wiser. Not in the case of Joana, though. Her problematic “gift” cripples her, she cannot even walk properly. You can almost pity her when you see her crawling on the bathroom floor.

Her father produces unique lens for telescopes. Before he dies, he tells Joana his industrial secret. For her, it’s only a string of meaningless numbers but it’s a treasure for her father’s enemies. When he dies, they use her deplorable condition to extract the secret from her. As Joana sees and doesn’t see at the same time, she’s not aware of the dangerous conspiracy going around her. Her mind, preoccupied with the insignificant details, can’t see the bigger picture, can’t focus on what is the most important. As a result, her father’s empire is taken over, her relationship with her fiance is destroyed and, finally, she dies shot at the steps to the cathedral.

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Stratification
A petty mind is like a weapon in the hands of a madman. You can never know the day and the hour when it strikes but you can sense the approaching disaster. If you take a ride with a staggering drunkard, you can be damn sure it will be your last ride. The same is with someone who has his head up his ass. If you give in to your own delusions or the bullshit narratives of other people, you will have to pay, if not now, then in months, years or even decades.

You can delude yourself that you are a special snowflake, that you are better and smarter than others. If you can’t see further than the end of your nose, if you can’t predict the consequences of your actions, if you live only here and now, you are a mere pawn on that chessboard called life.

Wisdom
Some time ago, there was a big scandal in Poland that triggered a national debate about religious freedom, the rights of doctors and patients and democracy, in general. A respectable doctor refused to perform an abortion of a terminally ill child because of his Catholic views. That was hardly surprising, because he had a legal right to do this, however, he also had a legal obligation to send a woman to another doctor. He not only didn’t do this but also lied to the woman that her child was healthy. When she finally learned her child was going to die, it was too late for an abortion. The doctor was punished but it hardly compensated for the woman’s false hopes and her suffering while she watched her child die.

Many Catholics tried to make a martyr out of the doctor, saying that he was loyal to his Church, that he followed the rules of his faith, they quoted the pope and the Saints, and atheists, as usual, blamed the religion for close-mindedness of its adherents. It’s a pity that the doctor forgot the most important imperative of his faith – to see God in another human being. Seeing “God” in another person is nothing more or less than simple human empathy, the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes, to feel what she feels, to understand what she thinks and how she may suffer.

There is a fundamental truth in the words “The kingdom of God is within you.” If its religious meaning is put aside, then it simply means that the depth of your mind is the source of wisdom, the unconscious mind that is the dwelling of intuition and the deep empathic understanding of things.

The corruption of knowledge
Knowledge can be found in books and in the heads of other people. It’s easy to lose wisdom in the stream of facts and insignificant details. Other people’s ideas are like the noise which deafens you to the barely audible inner voice of wisdom. Studying will never replace experience and there can be no insight without being in tune with other people.

As there are many narrow paths to wisdom, there are also many highways to stupidity. Just like a cockroach infesting the poor and the luxurious kitchens, stupidity doesn’t care about a religious label. Neither does it care about a social status or a university degree.

The swines and the pearls
It’s been said many times that the nine Satanic sins are the sins against reality. They are punished neither by God nor the Devil, but by life. If you try to build castles in the sky, you risk that, eventually, you will be dragged down to face the desert of the real.

One of such sins is solipsism; deluding yourself that other people share your views and values, that they understand your more or less lofty ideas. Most people are mediocre and even if they appear to be intelligent, it’s because their heads are full of other people’s ideas. Talking to them is like throwing the pearls before the swines. If you try to be honest with them, if you open your heart, they will crucify you or, worse, drag you down to their level of petty and pathetic bullshit.

That some things should be left unsaid was well understood by women in the past, who locked their diaries in safe and secret places. It wasn’t so much the fear of compromise as the awareness of the fact that most people are prone to passing judgements without even bothering to understand. Talking to such people is like talking to the wall. Whatever you say will fall on deaf ears.

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While the wise look at the horizon, the fools sit on the beach counting the grains of sand. It’s a prerogative of an idiot to take everything under his magnifying glass, to adhere to his religion, ideology or philosophy with an unshaken pedantic scrupulosity. In that way, the things that are really important get lost among the things that only appear to be important. Like T.S. Eliot wrote, we lose wisdom in knowledge and knowledge in information. Sometimes, reason can make us blind, like the poor Rabbit, like poor Joana and many others.

The Savior

Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy – the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation. – Eric Hoffer

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There comes the time in your life when you realize it is impossible to put together the shattered glass or that the diamond you cherished for so long is only a piece of trash. You can hold the sham in your hand and still delude yourself it is a gem or accept the bitter truth and throw it away.

Disillusionment has many faces. Each will haunt your memory for days, months or even years and hurt like a knife stabbing your chest. Whenever your dreams are shattered, the part of you dies. The reality you must face is too often gloomy, unfriendly or even scary. This and the painful realization that you have been deluding yourself for so long.

When the guy you were in love with turns out to be someone else than a prince in the golden castle, when your dream job turns out to be a nightmare, when your friends reject you, when you lose your religion and when you see you’re not as perfect as you thought you were, bafflement, bitter disappointment and remorse are likely to follow. How could I be so stupid? How could I be so blind? I was in love. I was totally enchanted. I trusted my friends. I thought I could do that. Perhaps, I disappointed my friends. I was not a good wife. I could be more attractive. I could do better…

Cold evaluation of yourself and others is definitely in order, though not before you bury your dreams and illusions and let the grief pass. They deserve the mourning like the dead children, because they were part of you. Then and only then can you move on.

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Every wall is a door. The end of something is the new beginning, an opportunity to look inside. The God that can save you will come from the darkest depths of your mind, your inner voice, your real self, real, not imaginary, not illusory and that voice will lead you along the path, your own path of life. The feeble voice so often unheard because of the loud and persistent gabble of experts, religious leaders, authority figures and all those who think they know the best how you should live your own life.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.

One Way Ticket to the Blue

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, when mice ran after cats and lions were chased by rats, and the whole world was fucked up, somewhere in the Wonderland, there lived a little elephant. This elephant was no ordinary elephant, because he suffered from a strange illness. Everything he saw was pink. So he strolled around singing cheerfully to himself:

Oh what a wonderful pink pink world! What a beautiful pink sky, pink trees and pink grass! Wherever I go I see pink elephants!

Other elephants from his herd had enough of this insanity and decided to call in a vet. Soon the vet arrived holding a jar full of blue pills.

Here you are. – He said to the eager elephants, giving them the jar – Give your comrade one blue pill every day for three months. And after three months he should be all right.

Wut? – Said the elephants when the doctor rode away – We will have to put up with his stupidity for another three months? Come on. Let’s give him all the pills at once and tomorrow he will be like a new elephant.

The next day, the elephant woke up and looked up at the sky. Oh what a beautiful blue sky! – He exclaimed as his comrades cheered. Then he looked at them and looked around. – Oh beautiful blue trees and blue grass! Hello my blue brothers and sisters! What a wonderful blue blue world!

Oh my God! What have we done?! The poor elephants were consternated. Don’t worry. – Said the leader, the old elephant – It’s not so bad. At least, he’s got one thing right.

Mindfuck can occur when the input of new ideas exceeds the capability of the mind to consciously assimilate them. Whenever exposed to new ideas the mind needs some time to ponder on them, to chew on them, understand them, filter them, deal with cognitive dissonance and so on. This is why education, gaining genuine knowledge takes years of diligence and commitment.

While education involves conscious learning, mindfuck is an unconscious process. It usually occurs when the person is extremely willing to accept a new set of attractive, albeit complex, ideas, but is too dumb to understand them. Another cause for mindfuck is an overflow of the too abstract and difficult ideas which cause extreme confusion in the mind of the victim. As a result, the victim gets it all wrong. And last but not least, mindfuck is a result of the manipulation by the mindfucker.

What are the symptoms of mindfuck? Deja vu is a key word here. When you listen to the mindfucked person, you have the impression that you have heard/seen/read it all before. This is because the victim of mindfuck constantly parrots other people’s ideas, while at the same time being totally convinced these ideas are his own. You can’t have a rational discussion with the mindfucked person, because he, himself, has no fucking clue what he’s talking about. So instead of answering your arguments he will repeat the same shit that got stuck in his mind over and over again. God forbid you try to call him out on his bullshit or he will try to scratch your eyes out. He’s that enamored with his new ideology, which he accepts uncritically.

Mindfuck is a terrible disease of the mind that can be deliberately spread by mindfuckers to further their diabolical agendas. As mindfucked people are drones unable to think for themselves, they can be used by the mindfucker as tools to achieve whatever aims he desires. The mindfucker doesn’t choose his victims at random, but carefully selects them using various tests, games and quizzes. Stupidity is one thing he’s looking for in his victims, vanity is another one.

The first thing the mindfucker checks is whether you’re retarded enough to buy his crap. He will deliberately lie to you and tell you bullshit, just to see your reaction. If you fall for his bullshit, he will move to the next stage – manipulation.

There are various techniques the mindfucker uses. The most popular and effective one is flattery. Come on, who doesn’t want to be praised? The mindfucker will stroke your ego, trying to convince you you’re someone special, a unique snowflake, a well of wisdom. He will praise your looks, your intellect and character. He will also tell you you’re his best friend or that you’re like a brother or sister to him. This form of manipulation is extremely painful for the mindfucker because he has to kiss your ass, though he actually hates you. The mindfucker feels the utmost contempt for his victims, whom he regards as stupid and brainless donkeys. At this point we could even feel some compassion for the mindfucker, who has to suppress his true feelings. Let us not forget that the mindfucker is a human being too.

When the method of flattery fails, the mindfucker has other methods like humiliation, insults, subtle threats, guilt trap, playing the victim card etc. They are less effective than flattery because they usually make the target go into a defensive mode. Let’s not forget about confusion. The mindfucker will try to deliberately confound and confuse you. He will keep telling you things that will make your head spin. When being called out on this, he will pretend nothing is happening.

When the mindfucker manages to successfully manipulate you, he will move to the final stage – indoctrination. Though the mindfucker often pretends to be a mentor or a teacher, it is not in his interest to make you any wiser. He will sell you nice sounding bullshit, epic slogans and catchy phrases, without going into the true essence/nature of things. There are two words that the mindfucker absolutely hates. One is “No” and another one is “Why?” He will discourage any questioning, saying “God wills it”, “It is to be lived and not debated” and so on.

And finally, when you buy your ticket to the blue, when you exchange one nonsense for another nonsense, you can go around and share your newly acquired “wisdom” with everybody interested. Stupidity is contagious and the more stupid people there are around the happier the mindfucker is. After all, stupid people are easier to rule.

The little elephant is silly, naive and childish. He sees the world through rose-colored glasses. His older and more mature comrades are pretty tired and fed up with his silly idealism. The doctor promises no miracles. The elephant will have to bear with his stupidity for three months before he gradually gains wisdom and sees the world as it is, in its true colors.

There are no shortcuts on the path to wisdom. It’s a long difficult way full of obstacles, adventures and dangers like Odysseus’ travel to Ithaca. Like a pearl wisdom is born from pain and suffering. All the mentors, religious groups or esoteric orders that offer you an easy and pre-prepared road to wisdom are the siren’s song steering you away from your destiny – coming back home.