Just a Voice in My Head


Dear reader, this incoherent string of thoughts below is or could be my confession. I’m writing it down because I’m bored with the game I’ve been playing for too long a time. I’ve managed to fool everyone, including myself.

I’ve been living in this matrix I built for myself for the whole of my life. Or is this other people’s fault? I don’t have time to figure it out now. Enough of going round in circles. I just want to leave and let the door hit my ass on my way out.

They say I’m a misogynist. I’m not. I don’t hate women. I just don’t care. No no. It’s as if I didn’t care. Why do I feel a pang of pain if I see her in his arms? This one or that one. All the time the story repeats itself. What is wrong with me? Is my ego at fault? Why don’t they see me for what I am?

I say I don’t need them but I need them. I want to live alone, yet my middle finger shown to the world is a desperate cry for attention. My defiance is a sigh of a wounded heart. I struggle a lot to show how much I don’t care and hide my desire to impress.

Why do the bitches hate me? If I only knew why. I’m a little bit confused. What if my enemies exist only in my head?

So now I’m telling you all goodbye. Saying goodbye to the world of lies and stories. Leaving it behind and what did I expect to discover except for how deluded and stupid I’ve always been?

Everyone is a liar.

It seems my only fault is that I can only be good.

4 thoughts on “Just a Voice in My Head

  1. othersideout says:

    “Seek no intimacy with the beloved and also not with the unloved, for not to see the beloved and to see the unloved, both are painful”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. D. M. Hutchins says:

    Some one once said “It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” Well, that guy certainly had no idea what he was talking about. As for your enemies, you will always be your worst. No one can fool you as you can fool yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Loran (emergent-29) says:

    John 15:1
    I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
    John 15:2
    _Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away_ (100% theurgy & alchemy): and every
    branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth
    more fruit.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. misanthropicnexion says:

    Misogyny is an absolute pleasure under the right circumstances. Their bitchy mouths aren’t running when you slam their head in the wall over and over. Making a nice THUMP THUMP THUMP sound ha.

    Liked by 1 person

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